i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
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Do I have a choice?
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I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
