My liver just broke up with me...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
