i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
