Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
