Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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