she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
