Don't make out with my wife yet
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize