His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize