I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
