Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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