Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
