I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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