Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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