Kiss
Puke
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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