Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
