it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
