fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
