I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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