i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.