he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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