Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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