I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
