My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize