Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
