now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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