Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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