I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
