i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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