I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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