Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
