I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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