i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
