i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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