Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My vagina is officially offended.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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