her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
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I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
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Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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