It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize