Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
