Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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