we're chasing vodka with high fives
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
