Ambien. No doubt about it.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
