Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
