Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
