im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
