Can Purell be used as lube?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
