Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize