4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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