you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize