so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
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Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
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You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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