he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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