Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
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I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize