He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
