omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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