Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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