Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
