Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
