If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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