after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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