I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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