Will you blow on my dice?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
