Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You've changed since you got that strap on
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize