Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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