Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
