you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
