Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize